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So, I dreamt that I was fending off the Horsemen of the Apocalypse and their minions trying to break into my childhood house. Famine (some sort of scarecrow) was kind of a pushover, easily defeated by flailing a butcher knife from the kitchen - which quickly becomes my go-to response to everything. Pestilence proved to be a greater problem... he was literally a horse-man, or a huge insect-infested skeleton of one wrapped in tight, mummified skin blotted with patches of coarse, mangy, disease-ridden horse hair. Chopping off the whole front half of his face hardly seemed to bother him at all, and I'm pretty sure I accrued multiple strains of ebola in the attempt.

I should pause to note that I say I "dreamt" this rather than "I had a nightmare" since this is actually the good part of this dream. Because it started out by having some senseless, unsolvable family argument which typifies 100% of my actual nightmares, sometimes swapping out for customers, roommates or whoever, and typically in conjunction with some insurmountable IRL crisis involving money, employment, and/or housing. So I will HAPPILY switch gears to being stalked in the night by a 7-foot tall rotting animal carcass that wants to jam my eye sockets with tunneling parasitic beetles, because that is a problem I actually understand and feel mentally and emotionally equipped to respond to.

So I'm pretty much boned here, but Death admires my my stick-to-it-iveness regarding chopping at things and has me promoted to War. Thanks? Now I'm some sort of big red demon thing, and it's my job to do Apocalypse stuff. I travel to some ancient village in the desert wherein there is a ring of winged statues standing in the dark of a great domed temple. Plaques at their feet claim to honor varied fallen angels who, like Prometheus, are eternally punished for bestowing divine gifts upon humankind- in this case being turned to stone. I set about the task of awakening them one by one - for which they are at first grateful... and then horrified as I continue, because waking ALL the fallen angels is what triggers the Apocalypse.

Sure enough a big scary black dragon-deity appears, which is the form this particular end of the world takes- hello. I introduce myself and ask how best to help apocalize stuff. But it laughs, as I and all the Horsemen are now redundant, and it eats all my powers thereby demoting me to some kind of little chibi cartoon goat-thing. Poop. It turns into a billowing, dragon-faced black cloud of annihilation roughly the size of the entire sky and proceeds rolling across the planet erasing everything in its path. The understandably miffed angels fly off to battle it over the desert with great futility, as Death and I look at each other and agree this isn't really the way things were supposed to go. So we decide to look around for other gods buried in the city to wake up and fight this thing.

Somewhere along the battlements overlooking the chaotic sky-battle out in the desert is a collection of figurines depicting various pagan deities which have fallen out of worship in modern times. Any of them can be woken up, but there are also little creature modifier tiles which can be appended to them for odd results (lizard-Athena?), or the gods themselves can be combined with each other (spider-Loki-Anubis?). I get distracted by all the available combinations and sit down trying to figure out the best one. I'm just a cartoon goat paralyzed with indecision while playing with toys at the foot of the apocalypse; story of my life? Unfortunately I wake up before coming to any interesting conclusions. The end.

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