?

Log in

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Dragons and otters and fops, oh my

So, I dreamt that I was in a sneaky stealing Thief game, wherein I was robbing a castle filled with wealthy aristocracy (laid out a lot like my house growing up - the furthest thing from that description). Specifically, my mission was to steal a skeleton - a dragon's skeleton - an entire dragon's skeleton - which was walled up in a secret chamber somewhere in the castle. To do this I needed to spend the next several days undercover mingling amongst the decadent nobility while determining the best route of entry and exit, all under the eyes of the castle guard and obnoxiously chatty wandering fops.

By nightfall, when I'm able to sneak about unseen, I discover where the skeleton is hidden. And there's already a problem; it's directly on the other side of the wall of a noble kids' bedroom - a pair of twin girls. I can carve out the loose bricks one at a time to get through the wall, which is between their two beds, but that's probably gonna go fubar. I'll have to come back another night.

The next morning the twins report having heard strange noises in their room at night. Oops? But it wasn't me... the sounds they heard were more like scratches and growls. Hmmmm... Later at night I sneak up into the rafters and discover that the wall above their door is hollow, leading to an attic that spans over their bedroom and the secret chamber. I can drop through the ceiling and hoist up the bones, easy peasy. Too bad there's not enough time left tonight and the guards are starting to snoop around the entrance. I'll come back tomorrow.

On the 3rd day the girls report louder, scarier noises, and other people in the castle have started to hear them too. But the twins have been working on a play to present to everyone later and get their minds off it - which would be the perfect distraction. Would be. Unfortunately, the king has called a special session of the aristocracy, and everyone must attend. He declares that, due to certain recent behaviors by certain individuals, (glaring over the crowd) it is hereby an offense to the crown for anyone to be found unclothed in the ocean whilst in the presence of a sea otter, unless it can be reasonably shown to be an accident of ill-fortune stemming from inclement weather. He trusts from now on that there will also be a reduction in incidences of dolphin-related unseemliness and other cetacean shenanigans.

OKAY DREAM THANKS FOR THAT.

I fast forward straight through the 4th day to get to nightfall, and now I'm finally ready to break into the attic and steal that dragon... but I've taken too long. A disaster rings out in the castle - the dragon skeleton has come to unlife, slowly gathering a layer of shriveled flesh from the slain aristocracy, and is tearing the place apart from inside. ABORT MISSION. The game now becomes about escaping the collapsing castle through the rafters without being seen by the dragon, which is searching and saying Smaugy stuff at me. Apparently it is the incarnation of some sleeping death-god and would like very much for me to join it. But, being that I am alive and invested in remaining so, and similarly dependent on a living environment, won't that relationship be incompatible to my interests? "I adore life," roars the thing while whipping spinal tendrils everywhere, "especially freshly-born - the most delicious of all!!" NOT HELPING YOUR CASE THERE. Speaking of which, weren't there kids in this kids' bedroom? I reload an earlier save point and save the twins before the wall collapses this time, who conveniently manifest as talking objects in my inventory. Kay. We get outside the castle walls onto the ledge of the 2nd story, only to look below and see there are death cultists gathered all outside, doing their evil rituals with fire and banners of human skin inscribed with blood and all that shit, so climbing down here is suboptimal. Reload an earlier save. Also there is a bonus mission which involves retrieving the twins' play script before leaving. Reload save. Eventually I reload saves so often that the dream just kind of stops happening, but I think we get out climbing over the arbor by the sea or something, probably. I dunno, whatevs. End.

Otters.

Tags: